I Heart Fruit

Broken-hearted? Dazed and confused about love? Betrayed by a loved one? Falling in love with your bestfriend? Involved in a love triangle? Love quadrangle? Love pentagon? Hey, we don't discriminate! Fret no more, The Love Fruit is in and we are officially accepting entries from our love-stricken readers who need sound advice about love and relationships!

Just click on the CONTACT ME tab (which you can spot easily as shown below) and start bringing out the Nicholas Sparks in you.

Once you get in the Contact page, you can fill in your name or as Anonymous and write I HEART FRUIT on the Subject line. This is just to ensure that your mail doesn't get lost in the hundreds of junk mail or love letters from hot Brazilian models that the boyfriend doesn't know about. It's free to dream.

For your privacy and to protect your identities, we highly recommend that you use aliases for yourself and anyone involved in your telenovela story. But if you really want to let the whole world know who you are...then by all means, cocoa beans! Also, you don't need to write an epic novel. If you have just a specific scenario or question that you need enlightenment on, we are more than happy to listen!

C'mon now. Don't be shy. I'll even call on our dear friend Stephen Bishop to put you in the mood.

Stephen Bishop - It Might Be You

Kleenex, anyone?

Toodles!

Almost Famous

I'm doing my "Hammer Time" dance right now because this fruit just got mentioned on the website of THE most prestigious travel magazine ever, Condé Nast Traveler. I was just looking through their articles and I had to rub my eyes and make sure that I wasn't just imagining it, but there it was. I called the boyfriend and told him about it and after which, he got excited as well and replied, " Wow, you just got mentioned on CNN?" Huuuwwhhhaattt? CNN? I said CNT, as in Condé Nast Traveler! Forgot to clean your ears today, hunny buns?

A few years back, the boyfriend and I started a tradition of having high tea wherever we traveled together. Honestly, I'd prefer an afternoon of high tea over a dinner date. There's something just soothing about it and Miguel and I love the fact that we can have a great conversation without having to scream at each other, just so we could make out what we're both trying to say. When we went on a quick vacation to Hong Kong to celebrate one of our "monthsaries", we knew we couldn't pass up the chance to have high tea at the highly acclaimed The Peninsula  hotel. I truly loved the experience that I never cease to recommend it to my friends and family but I was surprised that CNT actually got wind of one of my raves.

Oh how I miss this.

via Condé Nast Traveler

I know it's just a one-liner but quit rollin' your eyeballs and just let the girl be. It's like Barry Manilow waving back at you in a concert...you don't know what to do but you just ride with it. Right? Right!

A mention is a mention is a mention. 

Toodles! =)

How To Lose A Guy

When it comes to snagging a great guy, some women tend to be just utterly clueless. You're a good girl and you don't know why you can't seem to find a keeper or you wonder why he never called back. Let me take a crazy guess, your Facebook status is It's Complicated. I'll have you know that you definitely won't find the answers in a crappy book with a crappy title...He's Just Not That Into You, my @ss. Of course he is, but that slight possibility of him wanting you the way you want him is not gonna fly if you're out there bouncing around like a clueless rabbit without a game plan during hunting season. Except for this bunny of course, he's the only exception.

So ladies, wipe the cookie crumbs off your mouth while I enumerate FIVE COMMON MISTAKES that women make to drive men to run to the hills...Run, B----, run! 

Common Mistake #1: Being too clingy.

How is it exactly to be too clingy? It's when you text your guy and you get mad if he doesn't reply to  you right that instant. It's when you pout and throw a hissy fit when he says that he's going out with the boys for a couple of drinks, which means you sorta kinda have to survive without him around for say, one whole night. Oh, the horror. One whole night? How will you ever survive? Why didn't he want you to come? Are they going to be hooking up with other girls? If you're having coo-coo thoughts like that lingering in your head, STOP RIGHT THERE. Unless there's strong evidence that your man is a conniving little @$$*&(), you've got to have some faith in him, even though he can be such a gorilla at times. Let him breathe. If you give him time to be without you, he'll only realize later on how much he misses you.

Common Mistake # 2: Being crazy jealous.

This is kind of related to common mistake #1 but focuses more on just being plain jealous towards other women in general. I know some men find it cute sometimes when you get a little jealous as a hot long-legged girl passes by but if you find yourself going all Mission Impossible on him by taking his phone and reading all his stored messages and emails while hiding in the bathroom or closet, then you are crazy jealous and could be borderline klepto. Like what I said, if there isn't any strong evidence that your man is in fact, cheating, then you better keep your paws off your man's personal stuff.

Photo Credits: Joeshoe

Sometimes, it doesn't end with the snooping around. Some of you might even be banning your man from hanging out with his girl co-workers and girl best friends. Do not ever place your man in a predicament where you're making your man choose, because if you do..he might end up not choosing you.

Common Mistake #3: Baby Talk/ Baby Voice

For heaven's sake, you are a grown @ss woman wearing high heels and a short dress then you bust out with your baby talk. By doing this, you are only confusing men on how to treat you. He wouldn't know if he's dating a woman or if he's bottle-feeding an infant. Moderation is the key here. You can do a little bit of that sweet talk, preferably alone with him, but you cannot do that for the whole friggin' duration of the day...in public. Can you imagine someone talking to you in a baby voice while discussing about the ongoing crisis of famine and poverty in Africa? "Oh, that is too bad. They made a bad boo-boo. Me no likey. That just makes me so gwumpy and makes me want to cwy." Mother .#&($(*#)#@....

Here, let me put that pacifier on you. It'll be my pleasure.

Photo Credits: LaoWai Kevin

Common Mistake # 4: Playing Hard To Get

I know that it could be exciting to be chased around by a boy that you think to yourself, all you need is a field of wild flowers to run around in and it's a re-enactment of a scene in Twilight.

You say you don't wanna look like you're an easy girl. I'm totally with you on that, but don't pro-long it so much that the romantic cat-and-mouse chase turns into just that...a chase.  Eventually, a guy's going to think you're just playing around (oh yes, guys these days are more emotional than you think. Did you notice they even cry a lot in weddings now?) and will end up waving the white flag. Remember, men are only human. Unless if they glitter when exposed to sunlight, they don't have all the time in the world to wait for you to make up your mind. Either you do or you don't. Either you Shhh or get off the pot.

Common Mistake #5: Playing Puppetry

Your man is not a puppet, he is a man. Don't try to change him into someone that he's clearly not or someone he doesn't want to be. It is only okay to help change your man if he gives his own consent to the transformation. Take for example, Miguel and I. He doesn't really care a lot about dressing up so he gives me the freedom to help him in that area. In the 11 years that we've been together, I have never spent a whole day shopping with him for his clothes. I give him the freedom to buy whatever he feels like in his own time and I just buy other things for him at a separate time. So that way, I don't feel like I'm emasculating him. Imagine me, a 5'5" little girl bossing around a six-foot-tall man..that's just silly...hmm...kinda sounds like fun..but nonetheless, silly. Tee-hee =)

By Jon Tolentino Photography
 (yes, I know I have the string coming out of my dress. I was too busy fixing up my man's suit, so sue me.)

For the sake of your man's manhood, let him make his own decisions...let him be a man. Don't butt in if what he's deciding on has nothing to do with you. If you want a man whom you can control all the time and does everything that you demand him of, then you better buy a leash and a water bowl because you're on your way to getting a dog.

Woof!

Sky as a pup, with his shaved leg due to an IV drip. =)

Remember, you want the guy to stay with you, not turn gay because of you. Don't give more reasons for men to run away, PMS-ing is already more than enough for them to handle.

Have a happy weekend!

Toodles! =)

Date Night

We've all been there before. You wave goodbye and your heart either skips a beat or you let out a big, heavy sigh because you just survived one of the most horrific nights in the history of DATING. The first date is one of the most defining moments... it's make or break, the beginning or the end, it's yin and yang (what?)... anyway, here are five things that you should try to remember while you step into the battlefield... of love. I think I might be talking to my boyfriend WAY too much. Remember, these rules can be applied as well to all you guys hiding behind your pc, hoping no one would catch you reading my blog..

1. Dress appropriately.  I know you're excited, you're giddy. You don't know what to wear and you've been rummaging through your closet over and over and nothing seems be the right outfit or worse, nothing seems to FIT you anymore. Well, that's what you get for not preparing and not getting your lazy @ss out of the house to buy yourself a decent outfit. What? Did you think I was going to say something enlightening like "It's okay, physical appearance is nothing. He or she will love you for your personality." Yea, sure. The key here is to find a balance with what you're wearing, where you're going and what you'll be doing. You can't be too over the top and you can't be under-dressed either.

Imagine wearing an Oscar de la Renta on your date... to the movies...

Be considerate, and just think that your date would need to buy two seats to fit your ball gown skirt.

Or worse, wearing FLIP FLOPS on your date. How many posts have I mentioned this? Flip flops are only acceptable if you're going to be splish-splashin' around a body of water or if you're at HOME.

2. Eat heartily. I know this is one of the most difficult things to do, especially when your date is looking straight at you across the table. You don't want to lose your poise so you order a salad. *yawn* It's okay to order a salad as an appetizer, not as the main course. 

What most people don't realize is that the more food you have on your table, the more time you can buy for a good conversation. When you enjoy your food, you're bound to enjoy the company too (hopefully). The only main thing when it comes to food selection is to not choose something with too much onion or garlic, unless you're sure that your date is a vampire. Goodbye, Edward Cullen. or with alot of black peppers... those suckers are bound to get stuck in between your teeth and your date will never look at you the same way again.

3. Never self-advertise. Your date already agreed to go out with you, so why are you still trying to convince your date, on your date? It's okay to mention some of your personal achievements but don't bust out showing all your trophies or worse, say how much other people adore you so much.

It would be funny to mention some of your stalker stories but it just makes one roll their eyeballs when you say how much ladies or guys chase you around all the time. Maybe you're telling the truth, maybe people are chasing after you because you still haven't paid the money you owe them, but it's still wise to keep the conversation about general interests and hobbies.

4. Don't have high expectations. This should not be mistaken with lowering your standards. These are two absolutely different things. When you're out on a date, you can't expect too much or you're bound to be disappointed. You might have this perfect The Notebook scenario already playing in your head but more often than not, it's not what's going to happen. He might not say the things you expect him to say or he might not do the things that you expect him to do like pay for the both of you.

It would be nice for a man to offer and pay for everything but it wouldn't hurt to try to go dutch on some things. Like if he pays for dinner, why don't you try to offer to pay for the movie tickets or a drink at your fave cafe/lounge? If he insists to pay for everything, that's fine, but it's better to be prepared if he doesn't. Of course, gold diggers will never agree to this, they will pout and hiss at you if you don't pay for everything.

5. Be yourself but don't get too comfortable. Being yourself can immensely take the tension off you and your date, but don't act like you're hanging out with the girls or going out with the homeboys, at least not just yet. Don't be belching the night away from both exits, ESPECIALLY the lower exit. To simply put it, don't fart your date to death. Don't speak your mind unless you know that you're getting a positive feed back and your date is clearly amused. If you get b-slapped, you know you might have gone a little too far. And as much as possible, you might wanna go easy on the Patron.

The worst thing you could ever do is to look like an alcoholic who can't handle a drink or two. Oh and definitely lay off the beer if you're hoping for a goodnight kiss, no one wants to kiss someone who smells like brewed piss. I know that 70% of my friends who are beer-lovers wouldn't agree but seriously, the smell of beer is just not as enticing as the taste.

Remember, even if your date turns out to be a total psycho from hell, you must admit that it's better than watching re-runs of Sex and the City while eating yourself to death with a bucket of ice cream. On second thought, that actually sounds great...

So, here's a very short recap of the rules that I just mentioned...no flip flops, don't be an  anorexic, don't be a show-off, don't be a gold-digger , don't smell like piss and most of all, have fun for cryin' out loud! You are allowed to smile on dates! Okay? Okay!

Toodles! =)

It's Amore!

♫ When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore..when the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine, that's Amore! ♫

Eleven years. That's a decade plus one. That's the age of a typical fifth grader *faint*...I did try to convince Miguel that we should just stop counting 'til ten 'coz continuing it makes us seem OLDER than we really are, well at least I'm speaking for myself 'coz he's already becoming an old fart. Ha!

Eleven years and we're still discovering something new about each other every day, whether it be good or bad. With that in mind,  I really appreciate the opportunity of the fun travels and misadventures that we've had over the years. They say that you'll really get to know a person's true colors when you get to live with them day in and day out, or when you TRAVEL together. As for me, I can truly say that every adventure has brought the both of us closer in our relationship, even if it had to involve occasionally storming back into the hotel room due to crankiness and total exhaustion. (He usually indicates the former and I, the latter..ofcourse, someone always begs to differ hehehe)

I always relish on the memories we've made and cannot wait to make some more... =)

In Chicago, where Frank Lloyd Wright used to reside in. I was happy to see the sparkle in my one and only nerdy architect's eyes as he was taking in the history and sights of one of the greatest architects of all time, whom he casually calls "Frankie boy". I'm hoping this boy crush is just a phase.

Our trip to Singapore..where we had to run for our lives due to unpredictable rain showers. Had to take the tourist-y Merlion shot and  it's the only city where you can get awesome chilli crabs at 1 AM  in the morning! Yum! Yum!

On our little getaway to Vegas. Must re-think wearing sky high stilettos while walking all throughout the strip. We went to watch the Phantom of the Opera and there were two white ladies behind us who told us before the show that they thought we were so adorable. What? I hope they didn't think we were teenagers who were eloping hahaha. We had loads of fun dancing the night away, despite the fact that Miguel was born with two left feet. Oh and Wynn buffet is the bomb diggity!

On our date night in Hong Kong. Once in awhile, the fairy god mother turns me into a girlie girl and then I turn back into a fruit at around 3 AM. This place must be the most adventurous city I have ever been to. There are too many things to do and places to explore. We went to Macau as well where our driver was kind enough to call me Miguel's "beautifooo" wife. Aww..too bad I'm his mistress. Ha!

 

At Lake Arrowhead, California. Enjoying the cold weather and finally putting my little raccoon's fur into good use. I realize that I get even hungrier when it's cold. Where is my fried rice?

At the Botanical Gardens in San Marino, CA. This was taken at the Japanese Gardens, I wish I could be in one of the real ones in Japan.. *hint hint* *cough cough* *more cough cough*

As much as I enjoy going around the globe (just a teenie part for now) with him, I've come to realize that at the end of the day, it doesn't matter where the destination is but rather the company that you keep.

I luv ya, hunny! Thanks for holding my hand whenever we get lost in an unfamiliar place =)

*Sorry but it's gonna take some real hard metal rock to get the mushiness, fluffiness out of your system after reading this blog* 

Toodles!