My own place, my own car, my own bed, my own time. Man, if only I could tell my old high school self on how my life turned out, she would be so ecstatic. All I ever wanted back then was having to not ask permission if I wanted to go out, having to go out with boys and friends until the wee hours of the night and most of all, not having to dodge my Dad around the house 'coz I got a mediocre grade on my English subject. It happened only one time and I definitely didn't want an encore of that...my allowance was totally frozen for 2 weeks. He knew my weakness, good thing my Mom took pity on me and told the nanny to send food in a tupperware during lunchtime at school. I had chicken nuggets with rice every day, talk about lack of variety! Ha!
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| Photo credits www.parents.com |
I'll have you know that I've now upgraded from chicken nuggets to Wendy's drive-thru and Thai food take-out, thank you very much! =)
As much as I'd want to endlessly rave about the advantages of independence bliss, I cannot deny the realities of which I have to face everyday for claiming independence and becoming my own Republic of Pears.
Bills. They come every month, not one day sooner nor one day later. How many bills can a person really have? There's the bill for the monthly rent, bill for gas (home), bill for electricity, bill for cellphone, bill for cable and internet, bill for credit cards, bill for car insurance and the list could go on and on. Good thing some geek out there was smart enough to think of creating online banking, it makes my life so much easier. I can actually be anywhere in the world and still be able to pay all my bills on time.
I don't know about you guys but did you notice that most of the bills sent through regular mail are SO freakin' complicated to read? It's like, dude..just tell me how much I owe in bold numbers and let's be done with it. They send you like 3 pages of nonsense when you know you're only going to look at the first page 'coz that's where they put the balance and the due date. I eventually got tired of it so I opted to go paperless billing for all my bills as well as setting up recurring payments so I don't have to wake up at 3 AM in the morning because I just remembered that something needed to get paid.
Imagine how many trees were killing because of all these bills piling up?
Chores. Yey! I'm now an independent woman. Now what? I can start off by doing the laundry, vacuuming the carpet, cleaning off the counters, cleaning the bathroom, feeding the dog, walking the dog, throwing out the trash and doing the dishes. Well, at least that's what I'm supposed to do..I end up doing laundry only until I'm down to my last clean shirt, just as I do my dishes only when I'm down to my last fork. Times like these, I really really miss having a nanny and I have learned to appreciate what they do for us. For all I know, all these chores that I do could be considered child labor in some countries.. tee-hee.
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| On a serious note, we should really say NO TO CHILD LABOR |
Non-depedence. The worst part of being independent is in fact, the non-dependence of others. For example, if I have to be away from home, it's so difficult to find someone to help me watch over my big monster, Sky. Even just doing simple things like taking out the groceries is difficult since I have to make at least two trips back to unload everything. Sometimes I wish I could attach a wagon on Skyler so he could bring his own groceries.
I can get him one of these...
Okay so once I've dealt with the chores and everything else, being independent ain't so bad. Actually, it's really fun to be on my own. I come and go as I please, I don't have to eat at a specific time, I don't have to fight for the TV remote, I can lounge around the sofa all day and no one will nag at me for it, I can enjoy coming home to peace and quiet after a long day at work and most of all..NO MORE ASKING PERMISSION TO HANG OUT! WUHOO! (sorry that was my high school self talking)
I'm not a feminist or anything like that but it feels good to know that I made it on my own without having to always depend on a man to take care of me. Here's to independence and sleeping in on our day off!
Viva La Revolucion!
But isn't it lonely, Pears? And how long can you be independent and start realizing that you have lived a life all by yourself and for yourself? Living life as a wife and mother staying at home has made me dependent on my husband, but there is nothing shameful or less dignified about it. My life is also full of bills and such, but the love and joy that surrounds me is tenfold when multiplied by 3 now. Living life for others and especially for God has given me the fulfillment to live life with purpose. There is actually a purpose for each new day. This is the first time I read your blog, because the title caught my attention. Thanks for your insight and time! God bless!
ReplyDeleteIt is challenging to be alone, but it doesn't feel lonely as long as I know that I do have a sense of purpose. I have a family that supports me and a boyfriend who understands me more than I understand myself. I may not currently have children and a husband to share my life with but it doesn't make me feel useless in any way because I can contribute and help other people in different ways. I think everyone makes their decisions in perspective to how they feel on what can be and should be, and I feel that I had to go out on my own because I wanted to prove something to myself, for myself and not for others.
DeleteYour family is lucky to have a mother and a wife who is devoted, caring and who is leading a God-centered life. God Bless your family and I appreciate you for your time!
I don't believe luck has anything to do with my family. Catholics don't believe in luck, but rather that God has a hand in your fate. It is up to our free will to follow Him. Before meeting my husband, I remember going to church almost everyday repenting for my life of sin and praying very specifically for a Catholic guy to enter my life. "Ask and you shall receive"...and God made Mark and my paths cross very shortly after my praying to Him. So I believe God always had a plan for my life. He was just waiting for me to stop fighting my destiny and humble myself in knowing that I was dependent on Him.
ReplyDeleteSince 18 years old, I have lived life independently on my own as well, so I remember life on my own for a good 9 years before I got married at 27. I found it lonely. Yes, I have a loving family and a boyfriend at the time, but at the end of the day, I didn't find any fulfillment in my life because I have chosen to live life just caring for myself. Sure I did good deeds for others, but it was a mask to gratify myself in knowing that I have helped others. I didn't do it for God, I did it to make myself feel good.
It is contradictory to be independent and not be a feminist because the very nature of being a feminist is going against being dependent and striving for freedom from the home. My independence before my married life actually made life harder when I first got married because it was hard to now give up my life for others, but there is hope if you change your perspective in life. Actually, being independent isn't really completely true because as a human being, you depend on pretty much everything around you to survive, may it be food for nourishment or the air we breathe. A tree standing alone is still dependent on the sun and the rain. The very nature of human beings is dependence to live, especially for happiness and love. The independent movement, I believe, is only a deception from a few strong feminists in the past who were unhappy with their life at home.
You're in my prayers, Pears. With love.
When I talk about my independence, it doesn't mean to say that I strive to stand alone without any help and saying that I am an island. I was brought up to be a Catholic as well so I know where you are coming from when it comes to giving yourself to others. But I highly doubt that marriage and children is the only way to show your faith and devotion to God and to fulfill our purpose. There are nuns and priests who have sworn celibacy and yet they are able to give themselves and their love fully to those who are in need and to God, himself. As long as I have strong faith in Him, no matter what circumstance I am in, I know I am never lonely.
ReplyDeleteYou are right. Not everyone is meant for marriage and children and that is not what I am saying to the women who claim independence as a means of being happy and content. Nuns and priests who dedicate their lives to God do just that, dedicate their lives to God. Married couples do the same when they are open to life (as God dictates it) and bear the cross of rearing children (many as they come) and raise them to know God. Living out your true vocation is having a strong faith in God. I guess I am asking you and the readers, where does the independent woman stand in terms of God's vocation for her? Is it in sleeping in, or in having your own place, or your own time? Is it doing whatever you please at whatever time? Is there more that can be done for women who are not married or are about to marry? I think so. I wish I knew this before as now I have had to learn my faith while juggling a family of my own. I wish I knew my catechism before my 2 year old asks "What are angels, mama?". Now, I'm trying to answer her questions while watching a Vortex episode of the material vs immaterial world to learn about angels and where they came from. I am behind in my wisdom, and I know this. It's a cross I have to bear for not having a strong faith in God before my married life. I know this now, but God knew this when I lived my independent life. Many of us women are behind in our wisdom, behind with our vocations (may it be married or unmarried). I am hoping you are on the path towards yours.
ReplyDeleteI definitely love having an independent life not only because you can prove to yourself and others how mature you have become, but you are also proving to yourself that you've come a long way from living with mom and dad! Being independent definitely can bring content to a person's life, and I did experience this first hand! We just have to understand that being "independent" does not mean being "ALONE" or "LONELY", yet there is a deeper meaning to it.So go Pears! You are one of the few women out there the world will need when all else fails because with an independent woman comes great responsibilities! ;)
ReplyDeleteI am getting older and I want to know how to take care of myself before I start taking care of other people. Had I not decided to leave from the comforts of my parents' home, I would never have been able to appreciate the value of hard work and sacrifice. Thank you very much for your kind words and thanks for reading! =)
DeleteI honestly don't understand the argument above. What exactly is wrong about being an independent woman? And why put so much emphasis on Catholicism? Is there something wrong about other religions?
ReplyDeleteHello =) You raised a good point, I myself am Catholic but I do not hold anything against other religions. I'm not too keen into discussing issues of religion and politics because we know where that would lead to. I would like to say however, that I was brought up and taught well enough to respect other religions and not consider Catholicism as the "only right religion". Thanks for dropping by, I appreciate it! =)
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