A Single's Survival Guide to Valentine's Day

Are the red cut-out hearts giving you migraines? Do you cringe when you get a glimpse of the greeting card aisle around this time at the grocery store? Do you just feel the urge to shoot down every cherub in sight? Well my friend, it's called Valentine's Day and we singles need to stick together to get this day over and done with, with our sanity fully intact.

Technically, I'm not single. But the boyfriend is thousands of miles away and we usually don't get together during Valentine's Day due to our uncompromising schedule and lest you forget, this is my blog and I can write about being single even if I'm not technically single. Now let me just write this thing before I start beating my chest like a gorilla.

Here are some fool-proof tips to survive the apocalypse:

1. Avoid every restaurant like the plague. Not only would getting a table be a pain in the butt, you will be surrounded by a heavy mixture of cologne, gushing sounds and grave sexual tension...GRAVE. Being there would be akin to being trapped in a lion's den with a bunch of raging hormones googly-eyed 16-year old kids---only this time with better hair, better cars and a lot more credit cards.

2. If you're gonna have a DVD night with your co-single friends, no matter what you do, do not pick out LOVE ACTUALLY. Ignore it. Skip it. Kick it to the curb. It's one of the best movies ever but it will make you feel sadder than a spinster, a cat lady and a hoarder rolled into one. Instead, pick out movies and shows like Hostel, American Horror Story, Nightmare on Elm Street ...basically stuff that will make you feel grateful for just being alive. Who cares about your crush when you're busy trying to figure out if there's a shadow staring back at you in your closet? Good luck with the nightmares but hey, at least you forgot about your Valentine woes! Problem solved.

3. Give in to junk food. Nobody looks good wallowing in a bunch of carrot sticks, celery and a smoothie. Get the good stuff, you deserve it. Kettle chips? Yes. Belgian chocolate? Yes, please. In-N-Out animal-style fries? Si. Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough? Uhuh. 

4. Down that junk with a couple of drinks. Wine, vodka, tequila, Diet Coke, probiotic drinks---whatever it is you have in your fridge will do. Drink lots of it and hope it will drown out your pity party of one.

5. Now that you've got some swag juice a.k.a. alcohol in your system, don't even think about grabbing that phone. You want to drunk-text your ex or worse, you're tempted to post some weird quote about relationships, matched with a very awkward background photo that has NOTHING to do with the quote, on his or her Facebook wall. Stop it. Get a hold of yourself, dammit!

Oh snaps.

6. Don't cry yourself to sleep to your favorite Barry Manilow album. Instead, belt out to some karaoke-worthy music...crying is still optional, of course. You can try to sing Manilow's songs too but don't say I didn't warn you.

7. Go on a date with your folks, or with the rest of the family. You can do a simple get-together at home or maybe even do a little R&R like booking a relaxing massage at a luxury spa. Remember, boyfriends and girlfriends may come and go but family is forever.

Image via www.plunhof.it

When all else fails, think about this: Dates can get pretty expensive, especially for the dudes out there. You have to get all cute (easy on the cologne, Prince Charming), buy overpriced flowers, get chocolates, buy a gift---because obviously overkilling is the name of the game, have your car washed, spend an arm and a leg for a meal at a swanky restaurant, get some tickets to a show, book a helicopter tour around the city, give a 3 carat diamond encrusted bracelet and file for bankruptcy. Times like these, being single is great. You don't even have to worry about getting out of your pj's. No one's gonna judge you and you'll still have a fat piggy bank by the end of the day. You're a winner in my books, my friend.

image via mybookbuyer.com

It's just one day, my single minions. And like any cockroach after a nuclear disaster, YOU WILL SURVIVE! Relationships are complicated so take advantage of your single blessedness and remember that you have to love yourself first before you can understand its entire genuine premise.

And to the rest of you who are gloating right now for securing a date on Valentine's, I have only two things to say to you...One: I'm happy for you, I really am. Two: you look fat in that dress.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Toodles! :)

Love: 5 Ways To Keep It Together

Fourteen years ago, on this very day, I met a guy. He stood six feet tall but he was as shy as a little boy. After a year of boisterous laughter, stolen glances and warm embraces, we decided to be together. Some of the details are now a blur while some of them are completely embedded in my mind. Shooting back to the present, we are not yet living happily ever after. Not quite just yet, but we're working on it. And that's how we should all be in our relationships, always working on it. I decided that instead of celebrating this day with a post filled with all the mushiness that could summon your lunch to projectile, I'd like to take this time to impart some simple, yet sometimes overlooked wisdom when it comes to maintaining a healthy relationship with your significant other.

FIVE WAYS TO KEEP IT TOGETHER:

1. Communicate Effectively. Your partner cannot read your mind, so you need to be able to communicate the who, when, where, why and how, even if you think your partner knows you too well that you finish each other's sentences. If your partner has done something to irritate you or make you upset, let him/her know...in a calm, gathered tone. Don't beat around the bush or worse, don't play mind games because it's just a game where no one wins. If you do decide to point out an issue, make sure that it's not the Terminator inside you talking, because people always say the worst things when they are too caught up in the heat of the moment. 

2. Learn to appreciate the mundane. You won't always have a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious time with your partner every single day because the truth is, the longer you've been with your partner, the more comfortable and at ease you become. You will fall into a routine or you will sometimes just run out of things to do or say. I got my Bachelor's degree in Advertising and Public Relations but I'm brave enough to admit that I sometimes run out of things to talk about too. Heck, Miguel and I could be on the phone for an hour and we wouldn't even say a word. What you need to ask yourself is, amidst the quietness and routine, does the mere presence of the person make you feel happy and secure? The right answer to that should be a resounding YES, if not, then there may be other issues that you need to communicate with your partner.

3. Respect. This idea may seem broad, but it is one of the most crucial pillars that strongly holds a relationship together. Speak to your partner with respect and dignity, and do not talk down to him/her. Remember that you are a team and you are there to uplift each other. Do not to laugh at their ambitions, no matter how shallow, absurd or far-fetched they seem to be, instead, listen and allow your partner to expound on his/her dreams about the future. Refrain from speaking ill about your partner's immediate family or close friends, remember they are also an important part of your partner's life, and if you're not careful, your partner might end up resenting you instead.

4. Stop comparing. The grass is always greener on the other side---but sometimes if you look close enough, it's not really grass, instead, it's just cold hard concrete that's spray-painted green. Why can't you take me out on dates like so-and-so's boyfriend? Why don't you dress up like so-and-so's girlfriend? Why can't you get a better paying job like so-and-so? Why can't we have a nice house like them? Whether you are thinking out loud or not, these ill feelings will manifest in the way you treat your better half. Don't be so surprised if your partner flips you the finger and dropkicks you once or twice when you rehash their failures and shortcomings. Being compared to someone else is like having tiny daggers pierce through the deep crevices of one's confidence and pride. It'll not only make your partner feel inadequate, it's going to make you look like an ungrateful b!atch as well. Instead of just demanding for things to be done, discuss with your partner on things that you can both work on for self-improvement.

Miguel, why can't your abs be like that werewolf guy's abs in True Blood? Porque?

Photo courtesy: muscleandfitness.com

5. Say I LOVE YOU as loud as you can. Put that megaphone down, you maniac! I don't mean screaming in your partner's ears 'til they bleed out. It can be just saying the words more often, or doing the dishes for a change. It could be leaving a sweet note while they are still fast asleep, or it could be holding their hand longer in the car. And if you're up to it, maybe even let them win a fight or two! (I do this for Miguel frequently but don't tell him that!) Did you notice that none of the suggestions above involve buying anything? That's because love is a currency that's much more important than cash and the only kind of currency that's meant to be spent entirely on your loved ones.

Miguel and I have only learned these principles through a little over a decade's worth of both good and (super-sized) bad experiences. You name it, we've been through it...we've had thousands of petty fights (like how to pronounce a word properly or why he's not wearing cologne or he's chewing with his mouth open---I admit, I usually am the instigator of petty fights) and really bad ones that took us years to resolve. No relationship is ever perfect and sometimes we get into really heated arguments but at the end of the day, we always try to remember why we are still here, together, despite having contradicting opinions towards certain issues that we can never agree upon. We both know we just can't walk away from something real. 

Knowing how the boyfriend spies on my blog while I'm asleep, I'm just going to go ahead and say this:

Happy 13 years to my shy boy! I know I said that I stopped counting after 10 but you know me love you long time! 

Let's take a mandatory walk down memory lane (4-10 yr old photos) because I just want to point out that I haven't aged at all but what happened to YOU, Hunny?! Ha!

In a random parking lot in 2004.

In 2006, waiting for the cable car in San Francisco. My mom said I'm too clingy. Ha! 

We are definitely ready for the camera. 2010.

This was taken in Chicago by my ever so talented bestfriend. (Hi, Geli!) Back in 2008.

Chillin' at a club in Chicago on a cold winter night. Miguel called me the Sudafed junkie 'coz I was nursing a bad flu.

We look so disgustingly good together, don't we?

P.S. Thanks to my little sister, Kiwi. If it wasn't for your birthday, Miguel and I would not have met at all. Happy 21st, my little scientist.

Toodles! :)

I Heart Fruit

Broken-hearted? Dazed and confused about love? Betrayed by a loved one? Falling in love with your bestfriend? Involved in a love triangle? Love quadrangle? Love pentagon? Hey, we don't discriminate! Fret no more, The Love Fruit is in and we are officially accepting entries from our love-stricken readers who need sound advice about love and relationships!

Just click on the CONTACT ME tab (which you can spot easily as shown below) and start bringing out the Nicholas Sparks in you.

Once you get in the Contact page, you can fill in your name or as Anonymous and write I HEART FRUIT on the Subject line. This is just to ensure that your mail doesn't get lost in the hundreds of junk mail or love letters from hot Brazilian models that the boyfriend doesn't know about. It's free to dream.

For your privacy and to protect your identities, we highly recommend that you use aliases for yourself and anyone involved in your telenovela story. But if you really want to let the whole world know who you are...then by all means, cocoa beans! Also, you don't need to write an epic novel. If you have just a specific scenario or question that you need enlightenment on, we are more than happy to listen!

C'mon now. Don't be shy. I'll even call on our dear friend Stephen Bishop to put you in the mood.

Stephen Bishop - It Might Be You

Kleenex, anyone?

Toodles!

Almost Famous

I'm doing my "Hammer Time" dance right now because this fruit just got mentioned on the website of THE most prestigious travel magazine ever, Condé Nast Traveler. I was just looking through their articles and I had to rub my eyes and make sure that I wasn't just imagining it, but there it was. I called the boyfriend and told him about it and after which, he got excited as well and replied, " Wow, you just got mentioned on CNN?" Huuuwwhhhaattt? CNN? I said CNT, as in Condé Nast Traveler! Forgot to clean your ears today, hunny buns?

A few years back, the boyfriend and I started a tradition of having high tea wherever we traveled together. Honestly, I'd prefer an afternoon of high tea over a dinner date. There's something just soothing about it and Miguel and I love the fact that we can have a great conversation without having to scream at each other, just so we could make out what we're both trying to say. When we went on a quick vacation to Hong Kong to celebrate one of our "monthsaries", we knew we couldn't pass up the chance to have high tea at the highly acclaimed The Peninsula  hotel. I truly loved the experience that I never cease to recommend it to my friends and family but I was surprised that CNT actually got wind of one of my raves.

Oh how I miss this.

via Condé Nast Traveler

I know it's just a one-liner but quit rollin' your eyeballs and just let the girl be. It's like Barry Manilow waving back at you in a concert...you don't know what to do but you just ride with it. Right? Right!

A mention is a mention is a mention. 

Toodles! =)

How Do I Love Thee?

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and...ahhh, eff it.

Today a man celebrates his birthday..

The man who insisted in sending me to the emergency room for a graze on my knee...
The man who attempted to cook me a late night snack but failed because he thought he could cook an egg on a griller...
The man who thought a sea monster was out to get him, but all the while it was just a seaweed stuck on his foot...
The man who smothers me when he hugs me because he forgets how tall he is...
The man who refuses to keep a safe distance while I am nursing myself from a bad flu...

The man who after all this time, argues that I've gotten more beautiful over the years...Okay I totally made that up. No, wait. That's actually a true story and I'm sticking to that!  

The man who, on our first Valentine's date, got me three huge bouquets of flowers because he said he was trying to make up for the other Valentine's days that I never received any...

The man who doesn't get embarrassed when his girlfriend asks to slow dance with him even if there's no music playing...

The man who, despite all my shortcomings and failures, says "I love you" and still means every bit of it...

I love you too, Hunny. Happy Birthday, Love.

I'm, I'm so in love with you, whatever you want to do... is alright with me...
Just imagine me doing my impersonation of Al Green...complete with arm and hip movement hehe.


Al Green - Let's Stay Together

Toodles!

5 Reasons Why

It's true. I'm in love with the boyfriend. Sometimes there's nothing more I'd like to do but gush over him all day. He's the only one who makes me giggle and blush like someone's choking the oxygen supply out of me. Miguel and I totally apply to the rule of "opposites attract". We're like Tom and Jerry, Ren and Stimpy, Winnie and Pooh...Ha! You fell for the last one, didn't you? Back in college, I used to itch into going out every weekend..it was like the end of the world for me if I didn't get the chance to wiggle, wiggle, wiggle on the dance floor and my nerdy boyfriend used to try to talk me into having a grand time with dvd's and popcorn instead..okay fine, I'm lying, it wasn't popcorn...more of "chicharon" (pork rind) sans vinegar and crushed red chili peppers..BOO!

Anyway, before I get hungry thinking about chicharon...I decided to compile a short list of why I truly adore the BF.

Reason #1 He taught me what an aurora is. The only limited knowledge that I had back then of an "Aurora" was of a local notebook brand back in the Philippines. (Any of my Filipino friends out there remember this brand or am I totally making stuff up?) Without him, I would have gone to Alaska and pointed out to the magical lights in the sky as "magical rainbow thingies".

via celestronimages.com

Reason #2 He divides his love between me and a guy named Frank aka Franky Boy, and I don't mind at all. Okay before you start singing It's Raining Men, I'm referring to a genius architect named Frank Lloyd Wright. There's really nothing better than a man who's so passionate about his craft/profession. Dudes, it is fascinating though.. the Robie House, designed by Architect Wright (shown below with a foxy couple on the side) was built in 1910. 19 freakin' 10. This was made a whole entire century ago.

Reason #3 I can't cook nor bake and he's grown accustomed to my usual mantra of "One day, I will make enough money to pay for someone to cook for you, if not, you get to pick on take-outs" It's either take-outs or he can eat charred stuff of what was once edible. Exhibit A down below: Me burning sliced hotdogs...

Reason #4 He randomly hums a tune like "Me and you, and you and me..so happy togetherrrr.." and tries to aim that high note with his deep voice.

The Turtles- Happy Together

 

Reason #5 He lets me hide underneath his heavy arm while watching scary movies but ends up getting scared as well so we both jump from our seats at the same time. Sadakkooooooo....

There are so many little things that I can talk about when it comes to how adorable the boyfriend is but I don't want to bore you or make you lose your sanity. I just like to frequently talk about him because I think that if we truly like someone, we should just show it and say it. You know, it would be nice to keep something like this in mind about your significant other so one day when you're upset with each other, you can go back to that thought on why you're with that person in the first place. I've seen so many broken homes and broken relationships just because couples tend to forget about the good things in their relationship. I, myself am guilty of it at times but one should remember to never let petty fights nor pride get the best of you and make you forsake your partner and your relationship in the process.

Don't forget to appreciate the small, mundane things because they may end up being the most unforgettable.

Toodles! =)

It's Amore!

♫ When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore..when the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine, that's Amore! ♫

Eleven years. That's a decade plus one. That's the age of a typical fifth grader *faint*...I did try to convince Miguel that we should just stop counting 'til ten 'coz continuing it makes us seem OLDER than we really are, well at least I'm speaking for myself 'coz he's already becoming an old fart. Ha!

Eleven years and we're still discovering something new about each other every day, whether it be good or bad. With that in mind,  I really appreciate the opportunity of the fun travels and misadventures that we've had over the years. They say that you'll really get to know a person's true colors when you get to live with them day in and day out, or when you TRAVEL together. As for me, I can truly say that every adventure has brought the both of us closer in our relationship, even if it had to involve occasionally storming back into the hotel room due to crankiness and total exhaustion. (He usually indicates the former and I, the latter..ofcourse, someone always begs to differ hehehe)

I always relish on the memories we've made and cannot wait to make some more... =)

In Chicago, where Frank Lloyd Wright used to reside in. I was happy to see the sparkle in my one and only nerdy architect's eyes as he was taking in the history and sights of one of the greatest architects of all time, whom he casually calls "Frankie boy". I'm hoping this boy crush is just a phase.

Our trip to Singapore..where we had to run for our lives due to unpredictable rain showers. Had to take the tourist-y Merlion shot and  it's the only city where you can get awesome chilli crabs at 1 AM  in the morning! Yum! Yum!

On our little getaway to Vegas. Must re-think wearing sky high stilettos while walking all throughout the strip. We went to watch the Phantom of the Opera and there were two white ladies behind us who told us before the show that they thought we were so adorable. What? I hope they didn't think we were teenagers who were eloping hahaha. We had loads of fun dancing the night away, despite the fact that Miguel was born with two left feet. Oh and Wynn buffet is the bomb diggity!

On our date night in Hong Kong. Once in awhile, the fairy god mother turns me into a girlie girl and then I turn back into a fruit at around 3 AM. This place must be the most adventurous city I have ever been to. There are too many things to do and places to explore. We went to Macau as well where our driver was kind enough to call me Miguel's "beautifooo" wife. Aww..too bad I'm his mistress. Ha!

 

At Lake Arrowhead, California. Enjoying the cold weather and finally putting my little raccoon's fur into good use. I realize that I get even hungrier when it's cold. Where is my fried rice?

At the Botanical Gardens in San Marino, CA. This was taken at the Japanese Gardens, I wish I could be in one of the real ones in Japan.. *hint hint* *cough cough* *more cough cough*

As much as I enjoy going around the globe (just a teenie part for now) with him, I've come to realize that at the end of the day, it doesn't matter where the destination is but rather the company that you keep.

I luv ya, hunny! Thanks for holding my hand whenever we get lost in an unfamiliar place =)

*Sorry but it's gonna take some real hard metal rock to get the mushiness, fluffiness out of your system after reading this blog* 

Toodles!