When it comes to snagging a great guy, some women tend to be just utterly clueless. You're a good girl and you don't know why you can't seem to find a keeper or you wonder why he never called back. Let me take a crazy guess, your Facebook status is It's Complicated. I'll have you know that you definitely won't find the answers in a crappy book with a crappy title...He's Just Not That Into You, my @ss. Of course he is, but that slight possibility of him wanting you the way you want him is not gonna fly if you're out there bouncing around like a clueless rabbit without a game plan during hunting season. Except for this bunny of course, he's the only exception.
So ladies, wipe the cookie crumbs off your mouth while I enumerate FIVE COMMON MISTAKES that women make to drive men to run to the hills...Run, B----, run!
Common Mistake #1: Being too clingy.
How is it exactly to be too clingy? It's when you text your guy and you get mad if he doesn't reply to you right that instant. It's when you pout and throw a hissy fit when he says that he's going out with the boys for a couple of drinks, which means you sorta kinda have to survive without him around for say, one whole night. Oh, the horror. One whole night? How will you ever survive? Why didn't he want you to come? Are they going to be hooking up with other girls? If you're having coo-coo thoughts like that lingering in your head, STOP RIGHT THERE. Unless there's strong evidence that your man is a conniving little @$$*&(), you've got to have some faith in him, even though he can be such a gorilla at times. Let him breathe. If you give him time to be without you, he'll only realize later on how much he misses you.
Common Mistake # 2: Being crazy jealous.
This is kind of related to common mistake #1 but focuses more on just being plain jealous towards other women in general. I know some men find it cute sometimes when you get a little jealous as a hot long-legged girl passes by but if you find yourself going all Mission Impossible on him by taking his phone and reading all his stored messages and emails while hiding in the bathroom or closet, then you are crazy jealous and could be borderline klepto. Like what I said, if there isn't any strong evidence that your man is in fact, cheating, then you better keep your paws off your man's personal stuff.
Sometimes, it doesn't end with the snooping around. Some of you might even be banning your man from hanging out with his girl co-workers and girl best friends. Do not ever place your man in a predicament where you're making your man choose, because if you do..he might end up not choosing you.
Common Mistake #3: Baby Talk/ Baby Voice
For heaven's sake, you are a grown @ss woman wearing high heels and a short dress then you bust out with your baby talk. By doing this, you are only confusing men on how to treat you. He wouldn't know if he's dating a woman or if he's bottle-feeding an infant. Moderation is the key here. You can do a little bit of that sweet talk, preferably alone with him, but you cannot do that for the whole friggin' duration of the day...in public. Can you imagine someone talking to you in a baby voice while discussing about the ongoing crisis of famine and poverty in Africa? "Oh, that is too bad. They made a bad boo-boo. Me no likey. That just makes me so gwumpy and makes me want to cwy." Mother .#&($(*#)#@....
Here, let me put that pacifier on you. It'll be my pleasure.
Common Mistake # 4: Playing Hard To Get
I know that it could be exciting to be chased around by a boy that you think to yourself, all you need is a field of wild flowers to run around in and it's a re-enactment of a scene in Twilight.
You say you don't wanna look like you're an easy girl. I'm totally with you on that, but don't pro-long it so much that the romantic cat-and-mouse chase turns into just that...a chase. Eventually, a guy's going to think you're just playing around (oh yes, guys these days are more emotional than you think. Did you notice they even cry a lot in weddings now?) and will end up waving the white flag. Remember, men are only human. Unless if they glitter when exposed to sunlight, they don't have all the time in the world to wait for you to make up your mind. Either you do or you don't. Either you Shhh or get off the pot.
Common Mistake #5: Playing Puppetry
Your man is not a puppet, he is a man. Don't try to change him into someone that he's clearly not or someone he doesn't want to be. It is only okay to help change your man if he gives his own consent to the transformation. Take for example, Miguel and I. He doesn't really care a lot about dressing up so he gives me the freedom to help him in that area. In the 11 years that we've been together, I have never spent a whole day shopping with him for his clothes. I give him the freedom to buy whatever he feels like in his own time and I just buy other things for him at a separate time. So that way, I don't feel like I'm emasculating him. Imagine me, a 5'5" little girl bossing around a six-foot-tall man..that's just silly...hmm...kinda sounds like fun..but nonetheless, silly. Tee-hee =)
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By Jon Tolentino Photography
(yes, I know I have the string coming out of my dress. I was too busy fixing up my man's suit, so sue me.) |
For the sake of your man's manhood, let him make his own decisions...let him be a man. Don't butt in if what he's deciding on has nothing to do with you. If you want a man whom you can control all the time and does everything that you demand him of, then you better buy a leash and a water bowl because you're on your way to getting a dog.
Woof!
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| Sky as a pup, with his shaved leg due to an IV drip. =) |
Remember, you want the guy to stay with you, not turn gay because of you. Don't give more reasons for men to run away, PMS-ing is already more than enough for them to handle.
Have a happy weekend!
Toodles! =)
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