American Circus

Pears

Let me begin this post with a forewarning to the readers out there...

If you are in any way feeling vulnerable or PMS-ing and happens to be a crazed, deranged fan of the show "American Idol", please do not proceed in reading this post because I guarantee that you will go "Children of the Corn" on me.

Photo credits by: Best-Horror-Movies.com

Okay. Now that's settled, I will have to let you in on a little secret. I really don't fancy the show, I watched it probably just for 5 minutes... okay maybe like 15, around 3 years ago and that was it. I could give a rat's hoo-ha on who's in it or if Seacrest finally came out of the rainbow closet. But there I was on my couch, browsing through the channels... lo and behold, I stumbled on the last half of the final show. With that said, I want to just share with you, my precious readers...about the odd things I encountered while watching the show. That, or I was just probably bored out of my mind so I'm minding other people's bitnez.

Point A- Don't be fooled by the rocks that she's got... she's still, she's still Jenny from the Block. Indeed, JLO still is. Who the hell earns millions and can't buy find a decent stylist to slap her silly and stop her from wearing that awful outfit that she wore. Glitter+ I'm-going-to-an-amusement-park hat+weird funky slouch-crotch pants usually seen on Step Up dancers = me laughing with cookie crumbs bursting out of my mouth.

Miss JLo, I know you want to dance... and love... and dance again... but this is ridiculous.
Photo credits from : www.usmagazine.com

Point B- Can someone tell me, for the love of God... who the hell was that couple that got engaged? There were just too many things going on with that picture. Was I the only one who got so disturbed that it seemed like A.I. just inserted that segment just to pass some time and fill a gap?

Don't forget about how the guy inserts his marketing plug-in for the brand of the ring while he proposes to the girl... SMOOTH move,man. And when the girl said yes, the A.I. music theme comes on. Wow, it doesn't get more romantic than that, does it? This totally sets the bar higher now on marriage proposals. Boys... do not, I REPEAT, do not forget to insert the brand name while you propose to your girl and make sure when you reach the part when you say "marry me", take about 5 second intervals with each word and use a husky, deep tone of voice like you're in an Axe commercial.



Point C- Group performances. I hate it when they group together singers that don't have the same style of singing and the song ends up sounding like a bad remix. One guy sings and the other dude beside him tries to top him and so does the next guy and they all try to hit that high note in their own version. Ay caramba!

I was going to post a video of that tribute they did for Andy Gibb (Beegees) but couldn't find it on Youtube so I guess this other group performance would suffice.

Top 13 trying to sing Stevie Wonder's "As"


Lastly, I'd like to address those people who are disheartened about my fellow Filipina, Jessica Sanchez losing the title over the white dude with the guitar.

It's simple, really. There's no argument about the girl's talent but it's not called American Idol for nothing. Let's do it in reverse, if there was a Filipino Idol show, would you let a white dude win over a Filipino? And don't give me a diplomatic answer 'coz I know the answer to that question is a resounding NO.

Look on the bright side, at least she now has time to fix that gnarly set of teeth she's got. Whhhaattt? Don't act like you didn't notice it either. It sounds harsh but if and when she fixes it, it'll only be for her own benefit anyway so stop cussing at me like I can hear you through the monitor. Duh, that's the point of having a blog..to talk shhh without having to get beat up, at least not 'til someone recognizes me in the parking lot. Ha!

What... no teeth?! Shrewd artist.
Image source: Wikimedia Commons

At least she looks way better than this Botox girl...

Photo credits: ezekielhouse's photostream


Whoops, that's it. I've used up all my mean points today. I can now hear the angry villagers with their pitchforks and torches coming my way... Toodles!

4 comments:

  1. I would say I don't think there is any issue about letting an Asian win American Idol. The United States has a very diverse population with numerous ethic groups and the word "American" is definitely NOT synonymous with "Caucasian" since after all, we have a black president. Would you, since President Obama is black, much rather say he deserves to be called the "African President" rather than the "American President" or better yet, maybe drop the word "American" and just call him "President"? Also, people from the US military all come form different ethnic backgrounds and we refer to them as our "American Heroes." Saying that a US war veteran, who happens to be non-white, does not deserve to be called an "American Hero" is rather ignorant and shallow.

    Also, I have to say that I am not exactly a big fan of both singers - Jessica Sanchez and Charice Pempengo - by that, I mean, I don't exactly listen to their music, but that certainly does not mean that I am not proud of their achievements. Filipinos in the United States (as well as the ones in other counties) are considered a minority. We are a small community. That being said, we should just be helping each other out rather than bring each other down. Plus, there had been many instances wherein the Philippines brought shame to the world - corruption, overpopulation, poverty, prostitution, heinous crimes, illegal immigration, etc. But these people, the very people whom you think are not up to par with your beauty standards, in one way or another, have made people of other nationalities think differently about us. That alone, I believe, should be the only reason why we shouldn't be speaking ill about them.

    Now I know you're just trying to blog about your honest thoughts, but a lot of times, when one is too honest and outspoken, it'll only leave a bad taste in other people's mouths.

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  2. Sorry, my blog is satirical. That's why I posted quite clearly with a forewarning that if you will take everything I say too seriously, don't bother reading at all. Everything I say should be taken with a grain of salt. I'm proud to be Filipino and I don't remember ever stating nor implying that I am otherwise. I appreciate your input on the matter, some people don't appreciate the humor and some do. Have a good day! =)

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  3. Well, at least you are getting quality corn, Pears :P Anyway, I always wondered about that pouch in-between JLo's legs. It kinda reminds me of baby poop... you know... like the ones dangling from their diapers.


    Corny Kiwi! (don't mind that... just had to say it)

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  4. To the anonymous person above who commented on this entry... Calm down! Laugh for once, cause I'm sure you need it! This is not a race and racism class.With the way you commented, you also have a lot more to learn about being "Filipino".

    Have a nice day! Don't forget to smile! :)

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